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Hi, hope you like my Blog. Actually, no, not really, couldn't care less, this is all about me. Feel free to fluff my ego like it was the least ugly part of Ron Jeremy, and you had made some poor life decisions. Also, if you wanna swap links and are not an idiot, here's the crap email I rarely check: nightfire08@gmail.com Cheers!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Old people on the Internet / An open letter to the Dude on Lincoln Ave

I was recently on Digg.com, which is kind of like the Mos Eisley of the internet, if you catch my dorky drift, but without the cool music or lightsabers. Seriously, it's 2011 people. Fucking lightsabers, it can't be that hard.

Anyway, I got into a pitched comment debate with an old man over the new ObamaCare thing, and entitelments in this country.

At least, he said he was an old man. Here's a sample:

From "Harry Fox" which is totally not a euphamism.
"I'm a great-grandfather of one, and a grandfather of five, and I think these entitlements suck. We need to be free of all these entitlements."

First off, I don't beleive you're a great grandfather and also are on Digg.com. I think you're a stupid middle aged person trying to prove a point.

If you are, in fact, a great grandfather on the internet, I offer to, if you promise to stop spouting Fox News bullet points, come over and A) Program your VCR B) Use it to tape matlock and C)warm you some milk. In return for this, all I ask is your social security, since you seem to despise it so much.


Secondly: If you are actually the same person who cut me off on Lincoln Avenue (because I like to think there are far less stupid people than there seem to be, they all just have multiple identities) on the way to work this morning REPEATEDLY, to prove you were, in fact, master of the road, I have this to say:

A) I didn't intentionally cut you off the first time. I was pulling out from behind someone turning left, and didn't see you, because it was raining and your lights were off.

B) You had plenty of time to slow down in any case; it wasn't even close.

C) You seemed to assume that I didn't merely accidently cut someone off, I INTENTIONALLY CUT YOU PERSONALLY OFF, which is funny to me. It must be difficult, having everyone out to get you personally, and the government listening through the radios and things. This point was exacerbated by when you pulled up beside me in a school zone, rolled down your window at 30 miles an hour, and shouted for several minutes, soaking the inside of your car in the rain.

D) I, having given you both the finger and ample space to pull ahead, then turned my brights on, because fuck you.

E) Your sudden stopping in the middle of the road didn't really catch me off gaurd, neither did your swerving into my lane within a few feet of me once, but twice.

And finally:

F) I wasn't terribly surprised to see you pulled over a few blocks ahead, because I was the one who called the cops and said there was a drunk driver with the vanity plate "Slap Hpy" (true fucking story) on Lincoln. Ah, we live in a wonderful age.

The moral: Fuck you.

The second moral: Don't be a dick. The offer still stands about the social security though.

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