Kim Kardashian and other Thoughts

Okay, so: take a look at this picture.

http://crazy.nerast.info/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Kim-Kardashian_2.jpg
How....how do you always look like you wanna fuck someone in a picture? Not sometimes. Always.

Like, when someone takes a picture of me, I usually look retarded. I don't mean that in a duragatory way either, I mean actually functionally handicapped.

For a long time I thought people who posted facebook photos were making a game of it, it happened so often.

I suppose the two things are not mutually exclusive. Maybe that's just how I look when I want to fuck someone, which would explain a recent dry streak, but still.

http://www.shockya.com/news/wp-content/uploads/kim-kardashian-dating-football-player.jpg

You have to practice that. It takes lightning fast reflexes. Especially if you're famous. People take pictures of you all the time.

You'd imagine that if you were famous, you could respond to the sound of a shutter clicking, even a digital one, turn, ninja-cobra like, and pose.

http://thekimkardashian.com/UserFiles/2009/11/21/Kim%20Kardashian.jpg

But no. The sound happens AFTER the photo is taken. Light travels faster than sound. (but neither travel faster than love, or the quantum "spooky action at a distance." theory: same fucking thing. am I right?)

So essentially, Kim Kardashian has to be either A) a jedi or B) an x-men pre-cog mutant.

I'm gonna go with B), because if she has full use of the force, she's damn unimaginative, because frankly her sex tape wasn't that interesting.

Still:

http://www.yourgossipfix.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/kimkardashian4_0_0_0x0_399x600.jpg

She has to be able to sense a picture is about to be taken somewhere in the room, whip towards the camera, and make the SAME. DAMN. FACE. EVERY. TIME. The fuck?

Now, I'm not sure I fully agree with Porn, in the same way that I'm not sure I fully agree with Capitalism, idealistically, but still spend most of my day as an active practitioner, because what choice do I really have, it's there. More on that later.

However, you have to admit that the ability to, at any given time, SENSE a camera in a fucking room, turn towards it, and convince that camera that you want to shove it where the sun doesn't shine until sweet jesus returns is a fucking skill.

Oh yeah, and she's engaged, I think. So there's that as well.